Picture this.

A Boomer walks into a Gen Xers office (okay, cubicle) and says, Ive got great news for you! Youve won!

Now remember: Boomers, as Ive argued, tend as a group to be pretty competitive. This is the cohort that grew up in a world that was fundamentally too small for them. They went to high school in Quonset huts behind the high school because there werent enough classrooms to hold them all. Theyve competed for everything from spots on the high school sports teams, to college admissions, jobs and promotions. Winning, for Boomers, is a very big deal.

Youve won the promotion! Pause, as the Boomer waits for any obvious signs of delight from the Xer.

Of course, it does mean youll have to relocate. The promotion is in our Topeka office. Pause. Dead silence from the Xer.

Then, No, thanks.

What does the Boomer, in all likelihood assume? For most, it would be easy to make a rapid leap to a value judgment regarding the Xers level of commitment to the company and to his or her career. It would be a short step to assume that the person lacked ambition, confidence, or perhaps even raw intelligence. After all, how could they not get how big a deal this is?

All of these judgments would, I believe, almost certainly be wrong.

And, by the way, what does the Xer, in all likelihood assume about the Boomer? Would insensitive, out-of-touch, or even down-right nuts be possibilities? I suspect they might.

Xers, as Ive discussed, were teenagers during a difficult time in many national economies. During the 1980s and 90s there were persistent financial crises in many Latin American countries and stagnation in Europe. It was a time when the President had Americans wearing Whip Inflation Now buttons. And, it was the era of re-engineering. Knowing an adult who was laid off from a corporation where he or she had once planned to collect a gold watch of retirement is a widely-shared experience for many in Generation X.

As a result, many Xers tend to be very nervous about putting too many eggs in the corporate basket. When I talk with Xers, I often visualize athletes bouncing on their toes, ready to dodge one way or the other, depending on which direction the play moves next. Many hate the feeling of being boxed in. They don't like having their degrees of freedom, their options, reduced.

Of course, in many traditional corporate career paths, boxing people in at least in the sense of urging them to specialize or to take on managerial roles that remove them from the skill of the business is exactly what we do to people in their 30s (where the majority of Xers are today). Hence many Xers are feeling increasingly uneasy within corporations. Our research shows that Xers, for example, are more likely than any other generational cohort to fear being laid off. (In reality, they are probably the least likely cohort to be laid off -- but they are the most perpetually worried about it.)

So, back to the promotion to Topeka.

In all likelihood, the idea of being promoted and relocated feels to the Xer, not as a win, but as being moved out along a tenuous limb that could, goodness knows, be sawed off by a capricious corporation at any moment. Helping Xers feel more comfortable in taking on these types of roles has to do with helping them see the opportunity as one that broadens their options, rather than limiting them. And, of course, suspending the predictable Boomer knee jerk reaction in the process.

By the way, I was teaching a class of executives recently and told this story as part of a discussion about the importance of looking at each generations actions through their eyes, not our own. One of the participants, an Xer, shared with me that she had just gone through an identical experience, right down to the specifics of Topeka as the targeted site for the promotion!

What did you do? I asked.

I quit.

Xers, have you had similar experiences? Boomers, are you being sensitive to this issue?

HARVARD BUSINESS ONLINE RECOMMENDS:
Living into Your New Promotion (HMU Article)
Primal Leadership: Realizing the Power of Emotional Intelligence (Hardcover)
What It Means to Work Here (HBR Article)
When the Boomers Leave, Will Your Company Have the Leaders It Needs? (HMU Article)